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				<a id="mw-mf-last-modified" data-timestamp="1460884664" href="http://mulpwiki.org/index.php/Special:History/%22Piano_Anon%22(AiE)" data-user-name="HotRobotSlave" data-user-gender="unknown" class="top-bar truncated-text">Last modified on 17 April 2016, at 09:17</a>		<script>
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			<h1 id="section_0">"Piano Anon"(AiE)</h1><ul id="page-actions" class="hlist"><li id="ca-edit" class="icon icon-32px icon-edit" title="Edit the lead section of this page."></li><li id="ca-talk" class="hidden icon icon-32px icon-talk"><a href="http://mulpwiki.org/index.php?title=Talk:%22Piano_Anon%22(AiE)&amp;action=edit&amp;redlink=1" title="Discussion about the content page [t]" accesskey="t">Discussion</a></li><li id="ca-watch" class="watch-this-article icon icon-32px"><a href="http://mulpwiki.org/index.php?title=Special:UserLogin&amp;returnto=%22Piano+Anon%22%28AiE%29" title="Add this page to your watchlist [w]" accesskey="w"></a></li></ul>		</div>
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<td><b>Writefag</b>
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<td>Fui
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<td><b>Pastebin link</b>:
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<td><a rel="nofollow" class="external free" href="http://pastebin.com/88kE9UxY">http://pastebin.com/88kE9UxY</a>
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<td><b>Pastebin creation</b>
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<td>Sunday 17th of January 2016 04:26:48 PM CDT
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<td><b>Last Pastebin update</b>
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<td>Last edit on: Saturday 23rd of January 2016 02:19:41 PM CDT
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</div><h3><span class="mw-headline" id=".22Piano_Anon.22.28AiE.29">"Piano Anon"(AiE)</span><a href="&quot;Piano_Anon&quot;(AiE)#/editor/1" title="Edit section: &quot;Piano Anon&quot;(AiE)" data-section="1" class="edit-page icon icon-32px icon-edit enabled">Edit</a></h3><div>
<div dir="ltr" class="mw-geshi mw-code mw-content-ltr"><div class="gettext source-gettext">&#160;<br />&#160;This is a good one. You'll like the end.<br />� � -Beans <span class="br0">&#40;</span>Fui<span class="br0">&#41;</span><br />&#160;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Be Anon.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Well, the past six months have been strange.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Not because you've been transported to a world of magic, friendship, and ponies, unlike what happened two years ago.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You've gotten used to the idea of being in a pony-world quite well if anything...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...But it's still been harder to adapt to this new job than it has been to adapt to Equestria.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You see your hands, right?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Well those are worth about 2,000 bits or more.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You wish you could find out how much that was back at your old home on Earth, but the reactions you get when telling ponies that means that you're quite the expensive chap thanks to your little grabbers.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;And out of all of the things you could do with these hands...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You play the piano.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...Yeah, despite hands being well-desired, job-hunting is tough in Ponyville.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Everyone already has a job!</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;This is what lead you to Sugarcube Corner.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Turns out the place was seeking a piano player for the later hours when it becomes the local bar.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;It was an idea for more business by the Cakes, something about making more money for their kids.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Then you saw them looking for a pianist, and you know what?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Hands. Pianos.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You're good with both of those.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;So after playing a little ol' tune of yours, you got the job on the spot.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...and it's quite interesting.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Seeing the nightlife of Ponyville is vastly different, and more curious than you'd expect it to be.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Everypony comes by for some liquor, searching for ways to swallow their sorrows, yada yada yada...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Anyways, it's about time that the stage sets up and you work that magic on the piano.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;In an hour or so...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Your boss sits next to you at the bar.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Hiya&#160;?Nonnypoo! How's it going?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You turn your focus to your higher-up who sits on the bar stool right next to you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Her smile is wide and her eyes beam with excitement for tonight, eager to find out what stories she'll have to talk about for the next day.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You don't have much to say back.</span><br />&quot;Hey. Something you want Ponk?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Pinkie shakes her head in a very wild&#160;?no'.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Just wanted to see whatcha up to. You got any new songs you wanna plaaaay?&quot; she asks, almost like she knows you do.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;And she'd be right.</span><br />&quot;I got one new song for tonight. That's&#160;?bout it though,&quot; you say as you swallow some more beer.<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Pinkie's eyebrows raise in interest.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Ooooh! What's it about!? What's it about!?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She's hopping in excitement like a child.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;It makes you chuckle, so you decide to humor her just a little.</span><br />&quot;It's a surprise.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Really!? I love surprises! Ohmigosh I'm excited now!!!!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You smile at the pony as she hops away in her own thoughts, and off to where she goes to manage.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You wish you could be naive like her sometimes...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You stare at your watch expectantly and take a breath.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;8:00 p.m.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Any minute now and this place should have a few regulars hobbling in.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;But for now, you'll just wait at the bar till you're told to play.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;It's what ya usually do, ya know?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br />&#160;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Uh, excuse me? Anon?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;The dainty voice from behind you catches your attention.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You shift in your bar seat and look at the speaker.</span><br />&quot;Rarity? What're you doing here? Didn't think you'd be at a dive like this.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;The white mare giggles.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Oh, you know, I was merely making a secret new dress for Sweetie Belle. She'll be delighted when she sees what I made tomorrow! It's done, and I decided maybe I should allow a little indulgence while she's gone for the night. I have been working on it all day, after all&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You nod.</span><br />&quot;I see...&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Rarity then clears her throat awkwardly.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Well, that and...I have a little request for you.&quot;</span><br />&quot;You want me to play a song?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Rarity smiles nervously.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I'm sure you get asked to a lot, but there's just this one song that I use to know! It was sad in tone, yet so rich, so sweet! It was just simply divine! I've had it in my head all day, and I'm just aching to hear it,&quot; she explains.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She looks at you hopefully.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You sigh.</span><br />&quot;Alright, but you'll have to stay for a while. I don't play until nine o'clock.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Rarity squeals happily.</span><br />&quot;Oh thank you so much! If wait is what I must do, then wait I shall! bartender? A drink please!&quot;<br />&#160;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Well...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Rarity's drunk.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Oh boy.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;At least she's having more fun than tomorrow morning.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You sigh from boredom.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You just want to talk to your usual bar bro, yet she isn't here yet...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Anon, bro!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Nevermind, she /is/ here apparently.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;The familiar sound of a scratchy voice makes the corners of your mouth go upwards.</span><br />&quot;Dash. Was thinking you wouldn't show up, buddy.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Rainbow Dash blows some raspberries.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Pfft, please! You know I come every night.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You chuckle with the cyan pegasus as she takes her seat next to you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Whatcha wanna drink?&quot;</span><br />&quot;I dunno. Scotch sounds nice tonight.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Dash nods in approval and raises her hooves to the bartender.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Yo! Think we can have two scotches here dude?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;The bartender nods, and proceeds to get you your drinks.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;As he slides it over to you two, Dash gives the guy wink.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Put it on my tab,&#160;?kay pal?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Sure thing.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;The tender returns to his other duties.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You smirk at Dash as you catch your glass of whisky.</span><br />&quot;Buying me drinks again Dash?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;She rolls her eyes.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Don't get any ideas, tough guy.&quot;</span><br />&quot;Considering you're the one buying me drinks, I think you already got some of your own.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Heh. You sound pretty open to the idea.&quot;</span><br />&quot;I'm open for anything as long I enjoy myself.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Dash nods in approval once again.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Yeah, I totally feel that, dude. Doing whatcha want, whenever you want, you know? Sky's the limit, right?&quot;</span><br />&quot;I'll toast to that.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You clink your glass with her's, and take some of your scotch down.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Dash saves none, greedily swallowing all of her drink.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Whew...Hey, that's not all you're gonna have, is it?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You grumble.</span><br />&quot;Can't. Got a specific song I wanna play, and I wanna play it well. Already had a beer earlier.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;A yawn escapes from your mouth.</span><br />&quot;This is all I'm gonna have. My music's too important for me tonight.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Anon, I've seen you play the piano while you were shitfaced and no one noticed you were wasted but me. You're welcome for taking you home by the way...&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You smile at the memories you'll never have of that evening.</span><br />&quot;Heh. Bet I was a hoot, huh?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Always are. C'mon, have a drink and chill.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You rest your hands on your chin in a pondering pose.</span><br />&quot;Hmm....Nope. Gotta take my music seriously. Besides, it's a new song that may have a part involving the fastest flier ever...&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Rainbow's brow raises curiously as she plays to your compliments.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Oh? Is this flier someone I'd know? Someone who can clear the sky in ten seconds flat? Perhaps with a lengthy segment about her?&quot;</span><br />&quot;Don't get your hopes up. You're only in for one part...but you'll like it.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Her eyes go smug as her smirk grows.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;The part's not too short, is it?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You fire the same grin back at her, but with much more intent behind it.</span><br />&quot;I can easily make it...longer.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Dash scoots her seat closer to you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You know why.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;And you like it.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Your eyes stare into one another's as that tension between you twp that you always love becomes louder than the rest of the bar chatter.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;The beating in your chest is just barely suppressed by now, and the thrill is intoxicating.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You can tell from the smirk she has on her approaching face that she's gonna do it.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;This is why I still come to this place,&quot; she whispers in your ear as her hoof starts to feel your quickly growing dick under your pants.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You decide to say something along those lines back.</span><br />&quot;This is why I love this job.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Dash comes to a halt as her hoof stops.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...Oh no, you just messed up, didn't you?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Rainbow sighs jadedly, and leans back from the aborted kiss.</span><br />&quot;Dash? Is something wrong? What did do?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Dammit dude, what are you doing here?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You're caught off guard by her response.</span><br />&quot;Uh, what?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Her face goes from jaded to being sepulchral.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;We can't do this,&quot; Dash says in a tone you've never heard her in before.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Her voice is calm but depressed.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;You gotta go to Canterlot or something, or Los Pegasus...&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;These words cause mass confusion, and this shift in mood is not necessarily one you like.</span><br />&quot;What are you talking about? Why would I do something like that?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Once more she sighs.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Look Anon, I'd of left this town long ago. I love this place, I really do, but if I got outta Ponyville, I could do anything. I'm sure that I could be a wonderbolt if I could get out of this place...&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Her rainbow mane droops as her head hangs low.</span><br />&quot;But you won't?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;She shrugs, and moves the hair from her face.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;...I have friends now. I'm a different pony than I was five years ago. I don't know if I could leave my friends behind. They're more important to me.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She stays quiet for a moment, staring into her glass before speaking again.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;You're too good at what you do for Ponyville. Go out of town, get popular. You'd definitely make it big. No one's gonna blame you for leaving us behind.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...What?</span><br />&quot;Well then...&quot; you pull her into a hug gently.<br /><span class="co4">&gt;She doesn't resist, and falls into your embrace.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You decide it's appropriate to stoke her rainbow mane soothingly.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You nuzzle your head closer to her ear.</span><br />&quot;I'm not going anywhere. Not yet.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You feel her smile.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;...You sure?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;The hug ends with you getting to see the sad smile with your eyes.</span><br />&quot;Yeah. Yeah, I'm sure.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;What a cute smile she has.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She tries to refrain from sniffling, her eyes holding back tears.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I just...I dunno.&quot;</span><br />&quot;Dash, I'm just your drinking buddy--and maybe your bro with benefits--but like you said to me,&#160;?no one's going to judge you if you leave.'&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You put your hand on her shoulder.</span><br />&quot;But do you really need to leave?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;She shakes her head no.</span><br />&quot;Are you gonna leave?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;She shakes again.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Not in a million years.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;The bartender gets her a new glass of scotch, knowing when he's needed.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Dash thanks him politely, and downs it.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I won't leave. Not unless my friends come with me, and something tells me that ain't happening, so...you know.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She stares into the glass and the alcoholic beverage it holds.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Hey, uh, when are you gonna play? I might just have a listen and go if you're okay with that.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You shrug.</span><br />&quot;It'll be soon, not too long now. Should be by nine.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;She just vacantly nods her head.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Alright.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Poor Dash.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Girl has way more problems than one would imagine.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Who'd of thunk someone with an ego that large isn't hiding something?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;With a pat on the back, you say thanks for the drink.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Maybe the next night you two will do something crazy, but definitely not tonight.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You head off to give her some space.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She needs it.</span><br />&#160;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;It's been a good ten minutes or so.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Dash is still at the bar, you're not.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Besides...the wall's a nice place to hang out at, right?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...Ok, no it isn't, but at least you can see what's going on.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Doesn't matter though, yu're mainly here because Dashie needed time to think with her drink, know what I'm saying?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You guess when you've been dedicated to living your life-long dream only to not do it, it's gotta be crushing.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...Much unlike Big Mac over here.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You don't even know if this guy /does/ dream.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;At a table sits the massive pony with some hard cider as usual.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;He never did anything but tend the farm, sell apples, buck apples, and hardly any other things.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Seems to be real quiet, but not exactly shy.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Maybe a little timid, but just a pony of few words more or less.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Huh.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;That's strange.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Looks like the guy's expecting someone judging by the cider at the empty seat in across from him.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Usually he just drinks alone.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;The drumming of his hooves show he's nervous, and his eyes look around quickly.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You crack a smirk.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Look's like the rumors might be true if judging his body language.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Maybe Mac has found an interest in his distant family.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You've heard word from the ponies at the bar.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Something about how the Pies and the Apples are potentially related.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;They say that he and Pinkie's sister Marble--whom you've met yesterday--got it on at Hearth's Warming.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;That's pretty kinky, even for Pinkie.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Heh.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Rhymed.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Point is: if Marble really is Mac's date, then she should be coming in pretty...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Wait, whodat?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Hello Big Mac, farm's treating you well I see.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Dafuq is dis bitch.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;That's not Marble...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;The purple mare pulls out the seat as Big Mac's face turns even redder.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;E-Eyup!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Ok, that's not Marble...but who is she?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Just as attractive if not hotter than marble, but...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Holy shit...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Is that Berry Punch!?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;No, it can't be! She's got a different cutie mark and stuff.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;But she looks so much like Berry!</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Does Berry have any family or something?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You ponder back to many of her drunken ramblings from nights before.</span><br />&#160;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Many nights ago...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;A-And lemme tellz ya&#160;?bout my sister! She...she's a fucken' teacher, ya know what I'm sayin' Anon?&quot;</span><br />&quot;Yeah, sure.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Nah, yew shuddafuck up with yer stupid poop-facesh! I-I'ms like...suuuuper serius&#160;?n shit. Sho ya know...if teachers are yer thing, we shood, like, defnitly do sum sorta threesum or whatever.&quot;</span><br />&quot;Please don't involve anyone else in your awfulness.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Aw fugyou. Cheerilee prolly wood of sed no anywayz...All cuz of dat fuggin' new boyfriend...shtupid Mig Bac steelin' dat slut...s-she's lucky she looks so mush like me down to havin' mu fuckin' ass, cuz then I wudn't be all&#160;?bout her ass...Y-ya know, we sould totally has some sex right here.&quot;</span><br />&quot;Call me when you're sober and able to properly consent. I don't want a repeat of what happened with me and Flitter...I should probably say thanks to Thunderlane and Cloudchaser for clearing that shit up in the morning.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Hey! F-fuck you and your...Hwoa shit! Is dat a-a fug toy?&quot;</span><br />&quot;No. That's my microphone. Can you get off the stage now? I was kinda in the middle of playing a song for these ponies.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Not til deeze fffffffugging shitt bartendies o'er here gez me more vodka a-and I's suck my cat fock!&quot;</span><br />&quot;...You mean my fat cock?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Eehhh, shure, that too...*Uuuuurp~*&quot;</span><br />&quot;Oh god, is that puke? Yep. That's puke.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;End flashback...</span><br />&#160;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Cheerilee, eh?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Gotta admit, Big Mac's got some fine taste.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Cheerilee looks hot and has a sweet sounding voice of velvet and silk.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Unf.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;So far the two are just talking, but Cheerilee--at least ten, maybe fifteen years older than Big Mac--is clearly experienced with romantic encounters such as these.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;After all, it would be odd for a mare in her mid-thirties to not have dated.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;With flirtatious eyes and an implying smile, you can tell she's making Big Mac a bit more short-worded than he already is.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;And she loves it.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;The poor guy is a shaking, stuttering, mumbling mess, clearly intimidated by the beautiful bombshell of a teacher.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;He has trouble with how long he should keep his eyes on or off of his date.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Cheerilee is well aware of her impact, and leans on her elbows closer to Big Mac, her face about half a foot away from his.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;The stallion shakily tries to lean back, yet finds her messages far too alluring.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Cheerilee speaks to Mac in a slow and deliberate voice.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;It's been hard, hasn't it?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You try not to groan at Mac as he nearly loses his spaghetti.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Cheerilee grins.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;You know? Working at the farm, I mean. Must be awfully hard.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;The sweat from the red stallion's brow indicates the anxiety, and you can see his breathing fluctuate rapidly.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;It makes you excited just watching how much Cheerilee's getting off on her control.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Powerplay...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Meh, not surprising since she's a teacher.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Cheerilee continues to read Mac like a book in her classroom.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...Or does she?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;There's a little of something in Big Mac's eye.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Not a tear or anything, but an expression.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Sadness?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;No, that's not it.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Guilt?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Yeah, guilt.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;The look he's making is definitely that of a guilty man.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Like he...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Nevermind.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You think you know why.</span><br />&#160;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;The stage is being set up, and you'll be going on quite soon, yet you still meander around for a bit.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Place is definitely more alive than it was a while ago, so that means more listeners.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Good.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You want&#160;?em to hear this new song of yours, even if you just added some new stuff in.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Among the many customers tonight, you find yourself looking at the usual table for the more familiar faces of the few males you're friends with.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Caramel, a young stallion with a nice orange coat and a casual looking mane, waves you over once he sees you observing them.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Not wanting to be rude, you oblige.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You take your seat as you hear the greetings from Doctor, Caramel, Thunderlane, and the beloved Bulk Biceps.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;The Doctor looks at you with a charismatic smile, brown mane bouncing with each movement he makes.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Oi, wouldja look who it is? How's life treating you, Anon?&quot; he says, his British-sounding accent coating his words like chocolate.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You shrug at Doc's question.</span><br />&quot;Meh, you know. Just dealing with the usual bar drama with Dash, watching the bizarre love-lives that you'd only see at this kinda place at night. Nothin' much.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Your friend Thunderlane, an athletic pegasus with a blue mohawk and a dark charcoal gray coat, chuckles.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Hey, not that I blame you for being after my boss, but seriously, you gotta do something with her dude,&quot; he grins, &quot;but I guess you'd already know that, wouldn't ya?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You sigh at his remark.</span><br />&quot;Seriously, Dash and I are not interested in each other.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Everyone looks at you with a deadpan stare, as if catching your bullshit was easier than breathing.</span><br />&quot;...Well, romantically we're not interested at least.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;They all sigh except for Caramel.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;The young stallion clops his hooves together and points at you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;You say that now man, but give it enough time and you'll see! Right Bulk?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;YEAH!!!&quot; roars the gigantic white pegasus with his muscles flexing.</span><br />&quot;Guys, honestly, I don't really care about a relationship.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Doctor smiles as he puts a friendly hoof on your shoulder.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Look&#160;?ere friend, you got something there for somepony, I feel it. You just aren't tellin' us is all.&quot;</span><br />&quot;I--&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;--Ah! Not finished yet! �Point is...if you don't want to tell us, then what kinda mates are we to disrespect you then, eh? We're just be trying to help is all.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Good ol' Doctor.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;That friendly voice almost gives you a smile.</span><br />&quot;Well look, I'd tell you who &quot;she&quot; is if I knew for myself. See, the thing is that it's not just one pony I have it for; it's that I can't exactly decide.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Caramel folds his legs together as he ponders, but then shrugs his own thoughts off and smiles happily.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Yeah, I was like that once. But now I know that's there's only one for me...&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;He sighs dreamily, and hugs himself.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Thunderlane looks disturbed by the sight.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Please tell me you finally got a marefriend instead of a&#160;?waifu' of her...&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Pssh, no! ...B-but one day she'll be my marefriend!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;The Doctor sighs at the young stallion.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Caramel, we've been over this with you again and again. You and her; it's just not happening. Let it go already.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Not like you guys got it any better than I do,&quot; huffs Caramel.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Thunderlane scoffs.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Uh, Flitter and Cloudchaser are moving in with me. I think things are getting pretty serious with us. And I'm sure you're love-life's been getting better, right Doc?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Doctor sighs.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I'm not sure if I even know how to describe where I am with mares right now. It's like I've had a burst of luck recently. Roseluck, Octavia &amp; Vinyl...I even talked to Princess Twilight after the wedding of Matilda and Cranky! I particularly found Luna and Celestia to be quite humorous...but if I've found&#160;?the one'? Not yet, but I Derpy's trying to help me.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You're impressed...</span><br />&quot;Damn, maybe we should call you LOVE Doctor.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;All except Caramel share a laugh.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Ha, maybe! Still, I don't know why I've been getting such luck with females...It's the stragnest thing! Perhaps I should conduct some research. The timing when all this started seems to be quite...irregular...&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Thunderlane tries not to laugh.</span><br />&quot;Heh, maybe you could make a love potion for poor old Caramel over here, huh?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Caramel huffs.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;At least I'm not forever a virgin like Bulk.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;He immediately clasps his mouth shut with his hooves with a petrified face.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Your jaw drops along with Thunderlane and Doc's.</span><br />&quot;Oh shit.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;A warm tear sheds from Bulk's enraged eye.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;B-Bulk,bro, I-I didn't mean--&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Caramel is silenced as Bulk slams his hooves on the table, making you all jump.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;The giant pegasus stands from his seat as he stares angrily at his verbal offender.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Massive veins pop from his thick neck, and his teeth grind at an impressive rate.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;He leers at the stallion until his face is only a few inches from him.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;This might get ugly...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Bulk sucks in an air before he yells at foolish old Caramel....</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;YOU HURT MY FEELINGS!!!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Caramel chuckles nervously.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Heh heh...Sorry?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;YOU...H-HURT MUH...F-F-FEELINGSSS....BBBWAAAAAAHHHH!!!!!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;The Doctor shakes his head distastefully at Caramel.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Oh, c'mon! You just had to make Bulk cry&#160;?ere now, didn't you!?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Thunderlane consoles the white goliath as the Doc scolds the young stallion.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Hey, Bulk buddy! Don't cry dude, you're Bulk-motherbucking-Biceps, the coolest wingbro I had during wonderbolts training! Don't let mean ol' Caramel get to ya, dude!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;BUT H-HE WAS MEAN TO MEEEEEE!!!&quot; bawls Bulk.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Flitter the waitress comes trotting to investigate.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She's pretty hot but even more well mannered.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;If she and Thunderlane weren't an item, you'd definitely be after that...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You thought her sister Cloudchaser would be the one for this job since Flitter is studying politics and whatnot, but hey, it's a living?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She looks at Thunderlane.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;What the hay is happening here?&quot; she asks.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Hey Flitter. Uh, Bulk got his feelings hurt...&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Flitter gasps.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;What? Again!?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She quickly hugs Bulk and frowns sympathetically.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;D'aw...Someone being mean to my widdle baby Bulky-Wulky?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;The muscle-headed horse sniffles.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Y-YUH HUH...&quot; Bulk points a hoof to Caramel, &quot;H-HE DID!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Caramel shrugs with a scared smile under Flitter's glare before she looks back to Bulk.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Aw...Don't you worry, I'm sure Caramel didn't mean it. Promise!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Flitter pets him some more.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Hey, what if I got you a glass of chocolate milk? Would that make my Bulky-Wulky feels better?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;He nods his head as his frown turns to a sheepish grin.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;YUH HUH...&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Flitter smiles and pats Bulk on his gigantic back.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;There we go! I'll be right back,&quot; she says, pinching his cheeks.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Thunderlane pouts playfully.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;You're never nice to me like that.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;The mare sighs and kisses Thunderlane on the tip of his snout.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;That's because you distract me when I'm studying.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Thunder's pout turns to a smug grin.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Can Cloudy and I help it if you look cute reading your little book?&quot; he asks with an obvious undertone in his voice.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Flitter rolls her eyes.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Sure...Hey Anon, you getting anything to drink?&quot;</span><br />&quot;No thanks Flitts, I'm good for now.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Flitter's brow quirks.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Who are you and what have you done with Anon?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;The Doctor laughs at Flitter's response.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;No, you heard him! Nonny-boy's got himself a new song he's wanting to play, iddn't that right?&quot;</span><br />&quot;I'm just trying to stay sober for it is all. Wanna give it my best.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;The waitress looks at you suspiciously, but ultimately dismisses her thoughts.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Ok, suit yourself. Caramel, don't you have something to say?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;...sorry,&quot; murmurs the young earth pony.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Flitter glares at him.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Apologize, don't whisper.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;The edge in her voice causes Caramel to obey.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;S-sorry Bulk!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You dismiss yourself from the table when Bulk begins to crush Caramel in a warm forgiveness bear-hug.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;As you look at the time, you smile.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You got music to be playing now...</span><br />&#160;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Finally! Nine o'clock!</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;The bar goes quiet as your manager, Pinkie Pie, steps on the stage.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;The already dim lights become even dimmer, and the stage is hit by the spotlight.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Standing in said spotlight was Pinkie Pie, behind her a piano--your piano--and a microphone.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Pinkie clears her throat.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Hello everypony! Thank you all for coming here on this super duper awesome Saturday night! I can see that we have a lot more than usual, but hey! The more the merrier, am I right? Everpony, tonight's entertainment is Anonymous the Human! And lemme tell you guys, he's really good on the piano!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Pinkie motions you up to stage.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;As you head up, she whispers in your ear, &quot;Good luck!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You sit on your piano bench and nod at Pinkie as she walks off, leaving you, your piano, and nothing else in the spotlight of the stage.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You lean towards the microphone and take in a breath.</span><br />&quot;Uh, hi. I'm Anon, and, uh, this is a new song I've written about the past six months I've been working here. Probably the most unique job I've had since I got to Equestria, and that's saying something. You'll here some things that usually happen while I'm around here.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You sigh.</span><br />&quot;And here goes...&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Ok, moment of truth, Anon...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You breath in...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;And your hands start to play perfectly...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KXrKCVILWN8</span><br />&#160;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;It's nine o'clock on a Saturday</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;The regular crowd gallops in</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;There's a white mare sitting next to me</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Makin' love to her tonic and gin</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She says, &quot;Anon, can you play me a memory</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;I'm not really sure how it goes</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;But it's sad and it's sweet and I knew it complete</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;When I sewed a younger mare's clothes.&quot;</span><br />&#160;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;La la la, di da da</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;La la, di da da da dum</span><br />&#160;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Sing us a song, you're the piano man</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Sing us a song tonight</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Well, we're all in the mood for a melody</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;And you've got us feelin' alright � � � �</span><br />&#160;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Now Dash at the bar is a friend of mine</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She gets me my drinks for free</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;And she's quick with a joke or to light up your smoke</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;But there's someplace that she'd rather be</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She says, &quot;Anon, I believe this is killing me.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;As the smile ran away from her face</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Well I'm sure that I could be a wonderbolt</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;If I could get out of this place&quot; �</span><br />&#160;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Oh, la la la, di da da</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;La la, di da da da dum</span><br />&#160;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Big Mac's a worker at Sweet Apple Acres</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Who'll never have time for a wife</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;And he's talkin' with Cheerilee, who is still teaching</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;And probably will be for life</span><br />&#160;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;And the waitress is practicing politics</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;As some stallions slowly get stoned</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Yes, they're sharing a drink they call loneliness</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;But it's better than drinkin' alone</span><br />&#160;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Sing us a song, you're the piano man</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Sing us a song tonight</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Well, we're all in the mood for a melody</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;And you've got us feelin' alright � � � �</span><br />&#160;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;It's a pretty good crowd for a Saturday</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;And the Pinkie Pie gives me a smile</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;'Cause she knows that it's me they've been comin' to see</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;To forget about life for a while</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;And the piano, it sounds like a carnival</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;And the microphone smells like a beer</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;And they sit at the bar and put bread in my jar</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;And say, &quot;Man, what are you doin' here?&quot;</span><br />&#160;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Oh, la la la, di da da</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;La la, di da da da dum</span><br />&#160;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Sing us a song, you're the piano man</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Sing us a song tonight</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Well, we're all in the mood for a melody</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;And you've got us feelin' alright � � � �</span><br />&#160;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;END</span><br />&#160;<br />Background: I made a post on a drinking thread, where I changed the lyrics to Piano Man, and made it fit into My Little Pony. People liked it, I liked it, so I wrote the events in the song as a greentext on an AiE a few days later. If you read this far--I don't know how many people usually do--I give you a very large thanks, and I hope you enjoyed it. Now go grab a beer a get drunk with your friends.</div></div>




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